


as i remember it

by romeoandjulietyouwish



Category: The Selection Series - Kiera Cass
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, F/M, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Past Child Abuse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-02
Updated: 2020-08-02
Packaged: 2021-03-05 19:54:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 855
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25660942
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/romeoandjulietyouwish/pseuds/romeoandjulietyouwish
Summary: Maxon has a sleepless night
Relationships: Maxon Schreave/America Singer
Comments: 2
Kudos: 60





	as i remember it

**Author's Note:**

> Fam, The Selection has been my favorite book series for sooo many years and I have yet to write any fic for it so here we are I guess! Sorry if this is ooc, I haven't refreshed on the books in a couple years :D

Maxon wakes up with a soft gasp, the scars on his back aching. He groans softly, running a calming hand through his hair as he casts a glance at the clock. It’s almost two am. He sighs, he needs to get back to sleep. America, still sound asleep beside him, hums softly in her sleep, her bright red hair strewn over both of their pillowcases. Despite himself, Maxon smiles down at her, even when his darkest thoughts strive to break through, she can always make them go away. 

As he reaches out to touch her cheek, he hears his father’s sharp words in his head, telling him all the ways he’ll never be good enough. He feels the familiar sting on his back. Maxon yanks roughly on the ends of his hair. He hates this. Even though his father has been dead for several months, he still terrifies him. Maxon takes a deep breath and pulls himself out of bed. 

He walks to the bathroom, shutting the door before turning on the light. His reflection in the mirror looks eerily like his father’s. The same blond hair and nose, the more he stares at himself, the more he finds his face transforming into that of his father’s. Maxon’s hands tremble as he turns on the faucet and quickly splashes water on his face. 

He takes a calming breath and wraps his arms around himself in a familiar manner of self-soothing. His father used to berate him for it, claiming that he needed to be strong at all times and could not afford to show weakness. Over the years, Maxon got better at hiding it. 

Maxon gingerly sits down onto the cold bathroom floor, his back pressed to the wall and his knees to his chest. He tries the best he can to take deep breaths, but every time he closes his eyes he can feel wounds opening on his skin and his father’s face red as he shouts. 

There’s a light knock on the bathroom door. “Maxon?” He nearly collapses in relief at the sound of his wife’s voice. 

“A-America,” he says, probably far too soft for her to hear. 

“I’m coming in,” she announces seconds before the door swings open. She looks as beautiful as ever in her nightclothes, her stomach just starting to grow with the baby inside of her. “Maxon?” She gingerly sits down across from him, slowly takes his hands in her own. “I need you to breathe, okay?” He nods. They’ve done this before, she’s helped him out of far worse break downs than this one. 

The first time it happened Maxon had been so ashamed and embarrassed that he had avoided her for two days. Eventually, she forced him to talk to her and they had a lengthy discussion, ending in lots of tears and hugs. Since then, as much as he tries to protect her from them, America has borne witness to more than a few attacks like this one. 

When Maxon’s breathing finally returns to normal, America smiles at him softly, her hand on his cheek. “Let’s go back to bed.” He lets her guide him to bed. Maxon lays on his back like he always does with America curled up against his chest. She runs her hand up and down his side comfortingly. 

“What if I’m like him?” Maxon asks, breaking the silence. 

“You’re not,” America responds quickly. 

“But I-”

“You are too kind to end up anything like him. You have such a big heart and care so much.” She puts a hand on his cheek, “In the first few weeks I met you I saw you playing with your cousins at the party, do you remember?” 

Maxons nods with a faint smile. He remembers sneaking up on her with his camera, capturing one of his favorite pictures of her. 

“The only thought I had was that you were going to be an amazing father and now that I know you even better, I am sure you will be.” She takes his hand and guides it to her stomach, “I know you already love this baby so much,” he nods, “and I know that you don’t have a single bone in your body that would ever wish harm upon a child.” He looks down and takes a deep breath. “You are nothing like Clarkson, you are infinitely better and in a few months you will be a phenomenal dad.” 

“I thought I was the romantic?” Maxon teases gently. “What happened to the girl that kneed me the first time we met?” 

She rolls her eyes and nudges his chest a little. He wraps his arms around her tightly for a moment before she continues, “I will never let you become anything like him, I love you too much for that to happen.” 

“Thank you.” Maxon kisses her forehead and closes his eyes, taking a deep breath as he holds his wife and his unborn child in his arms. There’s still going to be sleepless nights and doubts and worries and reassurances on both of their ends, but at least for tonight, he can rest easy.

**Author's Note:**

> thank you so much for reading! 
> 
> Tumblr- @romeoandjulietyouwish


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